The $ Plan B: 3 Alternative Investments for Women Who Hate Spreadsheets
Alice in Underland
Traditionally, the system tells us to put our $$$ into a diversified ETF, let compound interest do its slow magic, and yield a return of around 10%.
That’s a legit, safe bet for retirement. You should probably do it.
But in an unpredictable world, watching a number slowly on a screen doesn't exactly provide a tangible sense of security.
So we are exploring alternative investments. Things we can touch or drink. Things that ensure our favorite people stay close when the world gets too loud.
We turned over some stones to find non-traditional wealth-building strategies that feel less like a retirement spreadsheet and more like an intelligent survival plan. From funding female founders to building an off-grid retreat with your group chat, here is how women are deploying capital for a more interesting future.
Invest in Female Founders: The Micro-VC Play
Venture capital has historically been a boys' club funding companies that solve boys' club problems. What if you put a chunk of your savings directly into the hands of women building things we actually need?
Unlike traditional angel investing, these platforms let you pool your money with others. Portfolia is a venture platform specifically designed for women. Instead of navigating the startup world alone, you can invest between $10,000 and $100,000—and actually get a say.
The Strategy: Experienced lead investors manage these funds, focusing on sectors that matter to us: FemTech, active aging, healthcare, and sustainability. You get to back female entrepreneurs, learn from smart women, and potentially reap high returns. It’s riskier than an ETF, but infinitely more interesting.
Invest in Tangible Assets: The Fine Wine Portfolio
In the chaos, if you are like us, you will want good alcohol.
Fine wine and whiskey historically outperform the S&P 500. But investing used to require a subterranean, climate-controlled cellar and a broker. Not anymore.
The Strategy: Their algorithms and sommeliers help build your portfolio while handling authentication, insurance, and global climate-controlled storage. As the wine ages and becomes scarcer, its value generally rises. Sell your portfolio for a profit, or if things go south, simply request the bottles be shipped to your door to drink. It’s the ultimate hedge against inflation.
Invest in Friendship: Co-Buying Property With Friends
You love your friends and hate the thought of a future in this current world.
Securing a multi-generational, off-grid retreat for your group chat feels like the ultimate long-term friendship insurance. It’s less "doomsday" and more "a private neighborhood where we can share clothes and hide from reality."
The Strategy: You don't need a perfect four-way split of $25,000 to make this work. Modern co-buying is all about flexibility.
Form an LLC: Create a business entity with your friends to keep things legally clean and protect your relationships.
The Unequal Split: You don't have to split the down payment equally; ownership percentages can match what each person invests. Have a cash-strapped BFF? Let them earn equity by handling renovations, maintenance, or managing the Airbnb bookings that pay the mortgage.
The Future Buy-In: Secure the property now. As your friends hit financial milestones or can legally tap their 401(k)s penalty-free they can buy shares later.
Disclaimer: We are as fiercely opinionated as our underwear is soft not your mama's financial advisors, CPAs, or attorneys. Please consult actual professionals before buying an island, forming a commune, or liquidating your assets to buy Cabernet.
